Should You Leave the Shared Home?

Understanding the Disadvantages of Leaving the Marital Residence

One of the biggest decisions people face at the start of a divorce is whether they should move out of the home they share with their spouse. While the idea of putting physical distance between you and your spouse may sound appealing—especially in a tense or uncomfortable environment—it’s important to consider the legal and strategic implications before you pack your bags.

At Lotspeich Law, we regularly counsel clients on this very question, and the answer isn’t always simple. However, there are serious disadvantages to voluntarily leaving the marital residence that you should understand before making that decision.

1. Once You Leave, It May Be Hard to Return

Moving out of the marital home can be a one-way door. Once you leave, it may be very difficult—if not impossible—to return without your spouse’s consent or a court order. If you’re preparing to move out, make sure you take as much of your personal property as possible when you go. In many cases, it may be your last opportunity to retrieve important belongings. We’ve seen situations where one spouse moves out intending to come back for the rest of their items, only to be locked out or met with resistance.

2. Leaving Can Undermine Your Negotiating Leverage

If your spouse is pushing you to leave the home, think carefully about why they want you out. By leaving voluntarily, you may unintentionally give up leverage in divorce negotiations. Staying in the home can create pressure for both parties to work toward a resolution, since neither wants to live in limbo indefinitely.

On the other hand, once you’re out, your spouse may have less incentive to move the divorce forward. We’ve seen spouses who delay proceedings, refuse to cooperate, or become less reasonable once the other party moves out. Unfortunately, this can lead to drawn-out negotiations, higher attorney’s fees, and more frustration for you.

3. Leaving Without the Children Can Hurt Your Custody Case

Perhaps the most serious consequence of leaving the marital home is its potential impact on child custody. If you leave the home and the children remain with your spouse, you risk creating a new status quo where your spouse is viewed as the primary caregiver. Courts often look at who has been the children’s primary caretaker and who has maintained their day-to-day routines when making custody decisions.

By leaving without the children, you may inadvertently weaken your position in custody negotiations or court proceedings. Staying in the home helps demonstrate your ongoing involvement in your children’s lives and keeps you on equal footing as a caregiver.

Before You Leave, Get Legal Advice

Every situation is unique, and in some cases—especially those involving safety concerns—moving out is absolutely the right decision. But if you’re considering leaving the marital residence, it’s critical to talk with an experienced family law attorney first. We can help you weigh the pros and cons, understand your rights, and protect your interests.

At Lotspeich Law, we’re here to guide you through every step of your divorce with clarity and care. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.